Episode:Marriage and Family—The Origins (Part 1)

From Symmetry of Soul

Marriage has given mankind the home, and the home is the crowning glory of the whole long and arduous evolutionary struggle. While religious, social, and educational institutions are all essential to the survival of cultural civilization, the family is the master civilizer. Today the human races possess a rich social and cultural heritage, and it should be wisely and effectively passed on to succeeding generations. The family as an educational institution must be maintained.

Listen to the broadcast

Keywords: Urantia, Marriage, Mating Instinct, Lust & Love, Mores & Taboos

Note: Brad Garner filled in for Ann Garner as co-host this week.

Summary by Kermit

Reprise of our Melchizedek Gospel Arc

Members of the SoS team shared some reflections from our long study arc of the legacy of the Melchizedek teachings. A primary focus of our reflections was on the recognition that evolution is a divine process. Over long stretches of time the Supreme coordinates, associates and combines diverse threads of material, intellectual, and spiritual progress to the realization of divine ends. Such a long circuitous outworking requires patience on the part of individual believers. Patience becomes a doorway to supplying favorable conditions for God to grow us. Recognition of evolution as the Father’s way accomplished by God the Mother, leads to the maturing of our faith into trust. Who’s to say but that our planetary tribulations—rebellion and default, rather than prolonging the time for attaining our planetary developmental milestones, may not conceal an accelerated path to our planetary destiny? Going forward into our new study, keep that recognition of evolution firmly in mind as it applies to the relations between men and women as much as it does the development of religion.

Our Author for this new arc

Preparatory to beginning our text, we were introduced to the author of the material for this arc, the Chief of Seraphim on Urantia, a mighty primary supernaphim. On worlds of rebellion where a Paradise son has bestowed himself, a primary supernaphim is assigned as the head of all resident ministering spirits. Our own chief of seraphim is the second so to serve since the times of Michael’s bestowal.

Keep in mind there is an active, individuated hand that ministers in parallel with evolution—the angelic orders. So it’s most appropriate that our author is the Chief of Seraphim of Urantia.

Paper 82 The Evolution of Marriage

Mating grows out of the two-fold reproductive nature of humans (i.e., bisexuality). Marriage results from man’s adaptive adjustment to this reproductive drive. Family life is the aggregate of these adaptive adjustments. Being the basis of all social evolution, it will endure in some form. The home stems from marriage and is the crowning glory of evolution.

Note that our study is entitled Marriage and Family. These two institutions must be understood together in order for us to properly understand either. The family is the fundamental nucleus on which institutions and civilization are built. Thus, if the family as a vibrant institution is in jeopardy, then all of civilization is in jeopardy.

Going forward in our study, notwithstanding the immediacy and poignancy of the personal elements of marriage and the relations between the sexes, it is the “civilizational” consequences of marriage and family that the revelators are emphasizing. The revelation would quicken our duty to civilization via marriage, family and home.

Be reminded that bisexuality refers to our two-fold reproductive nature, not a two-fold sexual attraction. And it is a downstepped expression of the pattern pair of biologically reproducing creatures resident on the capital worlds of each system throughout a local universe, the material sons and daughters.

While religious, social, and educational institutions serve to maintain civilization, the family initiates it, the family is the master civilizer. Humans of olden times faithfully and effectively passed on to the succeeding generations such social civilization as they had. And these civilizations evolved with a minimum of other institutional influences because of the effectiveness of the family. We are admonished that the rich social and cultural heritage of today should be wisely and effectively passed on to succeeding generations and the family as an educational institution must be maintained. The revelators use of the word “must”, gives us a clue to the emergency facing civilization today.

82:1. The Mating Instinct

Marriage is the evolutionary social repercussion of the mating instinct. The innate propensity to mate ensures propagation of the species. When referring to the “personality gulf” between men and women the revelators are not suggesting that the personality gift from the Father has qualities of maleness or femaleness, rather it is the personalized self of animal origin that has these qualities.

The sex urge of primitive peoples is primarily a mechanical, bioenergetic process, and in primitive peoples did not constitute a dominating passion. With race mixing, particularly involving the stimulation of imagination and beauty appreciation of the Nodites and Adamites, sex passion became all-absorbing. We discussed the actual “physics” of this in regards to the levels of meaning involved (flesh and feelings) in these dynamics, leading to an explanation as to why the red man had the highest sex code. Particularly problematic in our situation is that while receiving enough Andite inheritance to quicken and strengthen the animal sex passion, the evolutionary races did not receive enough of this inheritance to provide sufficient self-control of the mating urge.

Regulation of sex in relation to marriage is an earmark of progressing civilization and indicative of the amount of Andite stock in any people.

The powerful sex urge, through the lure of individual gratification, causes man to put race welfare and perpetuation high above individual ease and personal freedom from responsibility. Thank you Life Carriers! Next to hunger, the sex urge is the most dominant impulse in man. As civilization emerges from the nutrition epoch, social control of the mating instinct becomes important to the end that collective efforts towards providing for group security are effective. Intelligent submission (self-control) of this impulse to the regulations of society is the supreme test of the actuality of any civilization. As was mentioned during the broadcast, the sex urge when allowed unbridled expression had been and continues to be the source of great harm and sorrow for so many people. Self-control and more self-control is the ever increasing demand of advancing mankind. Therefore our challenge is to develop the objective consciousness and recognition of citizenship and our duty to civilization.

82:2. The Restrictive Taboos

The evolution of marriage is simply the history of sex control through the pressure of social, religious, and civil restrictions. We discussed the use of the terms morals and mores, and how the distinction between them. Early man had little of no regulation of the sexes. However, free love has never been acceptable above the levels of rank savagery. Early in man’s tribal development the mores and restrictive taboos were very crude. Sex customs of dress, adornment, and religious practices stemmed from these taboos which defined the range of sex liberties and led to the concepts of vice, crime, and sin. Violations of taboo became vice, violations of primitive law became crime, and religion made transgressions of sex codes sin.

Restrictive taboos have always weighed more heavily on women than men, particularly married women, who have always been required to be faithful to their husbands. Married women have always borne some sign setting them apart, while primitive marriage did not particularly curtail man’s sex liberties.

Annotations by Brad

  • [1]Concerning authorship of these papers, the author is our Chief of Seraphim here on Urantia.
    • [27:0.2] "On Urantia the present 'chief of seraphim' is the second of this order [of primary supernaphim] to be on duty since the times of the bestowal of Christ Michael." [37:8.10] also reminds us of this fact. See [26:2] for explanation of the primary supernaphim. In [114:6.3] this paper's author writes in the comparatively rare first person: "As planetary chief of seraphim, I preside..."
    • Why would this one super-angel be our author (more precisely, the "presenter" of these papers)? Angels must be working closely on these matters... tweaking things as needed. Ours is not just a universe of the hands-off blind watchmaker. Our universe demonstrates the outworking, in time, of the plans of God the Mother.

  • [2]Marriage is society's management of human's two-fold sexual reproduction (i.e., bisexuality) and associated mating instinct.
    • No bisexuality, no marriage. This simple and basic fact must be incorporated into society.
      • Our author defines it here in this simple foundational sense that cannot be ignored.
      • Our reproduction is bisexual, as opposed to asexual, or hermaphroditic.
    • We are a downstepped expression of a pattern of the Material Son and Daughter on the capital of each local system.
    • This is about civilization's view of things, not any two people.
    • This is not about sexual attraction, sexual orientation, or any other societal controversies concerning evolution of the word marriage as regards interpersonal relationships.
      • Civilization cares about the home and children produced through bisexuality, not any one interpersonal interrelationship.

  • [3]Everything is evolutionary, including society. It's one evolutionary system.
    • Social evolution is not a synonym or code word for materialistic (bottom-up) social Darwinism. Evolution has a final cause in mind: the Father's Way.
    • Provocative! Marriage is the basis (foundation) for all subsequent social evolution in civilization.
    • Being a serious student demands you slow down and reflect on lines like this you otherwise might breeze over in search of more easily digestible fare.

  • [4]Our feelings might respond warmly to this invocation of the neighbor, but recall that for millennia parents have been frustrated that their children often seem to learn more from the neighbors than from them. So having and being good neighbors is important.
  • [5]Many forces may maintain civilization, but the family initiates civilization.
    • Father initiates, mother upholds. We deduce that a Father influence initiates families; angels have some kind of hand in this individualized Father-aided initiation, despite their reputation as agents of the whole (Mother Deity).
    • [Paper 63] may expound on the first human family, but that first family was not the beginning of civilization. Andonites had culture but were not civilizable; not until the Sangik races evolved could civilization potentially begin.

  • [6]If you properly understand the emergency that caused The Urantia Book to be here, you understand why the word must is here. Must is a high word.
    • In some sectors of society today, the "family as an educational institution" is not just in jeopardy, but has a full-on collapse underway.
    • No nucleus of civilization? No civilization. Hence must.

  • [7]A sidebar section from the larger civilizational issues, to first talk about this complex and fraught thing where two subspecies come together. The instinct must be dealt with so it is stable enough to be part of the nucleus of civilization.

  • [8]An urge is a basic, near-mechanical energy phenomenon; it's the basic way life is programmed. An impulse is something higher. See also urge versus impulse
  • [9] One might imagine our author almost cringing at the more or less distortion of meaning from using the word love here, given that in the levels of meaning love is high fatherly love on the sixth level of meaning. Here, the context suggests this is near the first or second level of meaning, the flesh and feelings, respectively. Always recall that love is a high word when studying The Urantia Book. If you read "God is love" and interpret that as "God is like my most impassioned sexual feelings," you'll have a very distorted view of god—no doubt some primitive notion of a sex god or fertility goddess.
  • [10] Etymologically related to the taking of vows, something we are familiar with in marriage ceremonies.
  • [11] Reminds us of the third of the seven adjutant mind-spirits, even though this is not some exalted loyalty. In this primitive biological-energy context, this is the level of the flesh.
  • [12]Personality, the influence from eternity from God the Father, is neither male nor female. God the Father is not imposing or demanding this personality gulf. This instead is referring to the personalized self, which in this life is affected by bottom-up genetics of our biology and the influence of God the Mother. Good thing, too! If God the Father had imposed this gulf, it would be hopeless to manage. But with God the Mother as the influence behind it, it can be managed. See also Personality itself versus the personalized self

  • [13]This whole arrangement on our planet may strike the reader as some kind of cruelty visited upon us. But fairness is an evolutionary process.
  • [14]Biological uplift results in mindal uplift. With mind lifted vertically out of the plane, humans can develop a self-consciousness of the sex urge—can reflect on it. And while such thing can result in poetry and songs, it also leads to trouble. Also note that the biologic uplift favors the seventh of the seven adjutant mind-spirits, which is above both the level of flesh and the level of feelings; it is on the level of mind, which has the power to reflect on feelings—how it feels to have certain feelings.
  • [15]The red race has a preferential bias for the sixth of the seven adjutant mind-spirits. Because it is the highest of the adjutant mind-spirits favored by the Sangik races, and is associated with the level of the feelings and therefore enjoys a vantage point above the level of the flesh, it is not surprising the red race would develop the "highest" sex code; they have the best understanding of the need to regulate the sex urge so society can function.

  • [16]Recall the Life Carriers designed us (even programmed) with a seemingly all-powerful sex urge, to ensure the species continues. It takes a great deal of self control and personal responsibility to manage this urge in the context of a functioning society.
  • [17]The following two items are far from politically fashionable today in their implications. They imply those societies with limited sex regulation are either uncivilized, or are not biologically uplifted, or both. They imply a civilization that ceases to regulate sex is in danger of running in reverse or collapsing, because of a loss of its nucleus.
  • [18]Sex feels like a very intimate, individual phenomenon to each human. But society has tension with the individual in that it "demands" sex be "useful" for society. An animal-origin instinctive individual chafes at being told to make their sex urge useful, from ancient times on down to today.
  • [19]A straightforward sentence, but slow down. Pay attention to the implicit synthesis indicative of the larger cosmic patterns. The physical nature is the level of the flesh. The emotional nature would be the level of the feelings.

  • [20]Sangik races are civilizable, but only to a limited extent. Biologic uplift is required to enable some objective connection to and cosmic perspective on beauty in these matters. The violet race (e.g., Adamites) and that race's connection to the seventh of the seven adjutant mind-spirits provides that biologic uplift and enhanced connection to the Holy Spirit and cosmos above. See also truth, beauty, and goodness
  • [21]Serious problems began when the Adamites dispersed from the second garden. They brought uplifted religious teachings to the Sangik races, yes, but they also brought sexual behavior that would have violated all of the sex mores. We can hardly blame a Sangik tribe for rejecting all the Adamites brought when they saw their treatment of their women. Hence, because of Adam and Eve's default, the plan of biologic uplift went quite awry.
  • [22]Even until only relatively recently in Western society, sex was regarded as a rather matter-of-fact phenomenon not too removed from the mating of the animals in the field.

  • [23]Remember who the trickster is in this context: the Life Carriers (and therefore God the Father's plan). The vast divine conspiracy reaches even into our DNA.
  • [24]And we should be grateful for this divine conspiracy in our DNA. Without it, early reflective and selfish man would have chosen a life of ease and freedom from responsibility instead of all the complexity that sex and children bring.

  • [25]Left in their purely natural state, Sangik races rarely intermarry. Until revelation or higher ideals come along, we were designed to find our own race more sexually attractive on an instinctual level.
  • [26]Always strive to observe the precision of language used in The Urantia Book. An urge becomes and impulse; an impulse is higher than an urge. See also urge versus impulse
  • [27]Of course sex needs to become a hub—a central focusing point—because family is the nucleus of all civilization. Biological evolution and social evolution are meant to be synchronized.
  • [28]With the sex urge uplifted to more of an impulse, the seven adjutant mind-spirits can begin to function in higher more spirit-ways instead of the lower energy ways. Only a self-animating influence could bring about concepts as abstract as usages.

  • [29]That is, only one urge is stronger than the sex urge: the hunger urge. During the nutrition epoch of the seven developmental epochs of progressive civilization, primitive societies are so consumed by hunger there is hardly any need for regulation of the mating instinct.
  • [30]The security age of the seven developmental epochs of progressive civilization requires some modicum of inner calm in society. Without it, a society's members would be too distracted by this mating instinct and could never work together in groups to achieve security.
  • [31]Animals are programmed by the Life Carriers to go into heat periodically, to regulate procreation. Humans are not programmed (designed) that way, and so we must discover for ourselves the problems of unregulated mating and set up those regulative structures in our societies. Without regulation of the our (relatively non-periodic) sex urge, people would wander off from the job site to mate while desperately needing to build a wall to secure their settlement.

  • [32]Indeed, surely anyone over the age of 30 has seen plenty of examples in their or others' lives. The antidote is self control. The antidote is recognizing the world is not all about you and your experiences, sexual or otherwise. The antidote is humbly recognizing there is a civilization you have a duty to do you part to help maintain by controlling yourself. After all, true freedom is predicated on self control. Don't expect to keep freedom in your life if you cannot or willnot control (self-govern) yourself.
  • [33]The earliest lessons in self control can start in the home. Can the toddler learn to not draw with crayons on the kitchen cabinet? Or will the parents let the child indulge themself? Adults in society who failed to learn self control as children will as best have sorrowful lives, and at worst may have to be imprisoned or executed by the state. Jesus spoke about self-control and self mastery: "he who rules his own self is greater than he who captures a city." [143:2.3]
  • [34]To ascend to Paradise, we must choose every step along the way for ourselves. Starting out in material life choosing to control one's sex urge is as good of a place to start as any on this eternal journey of self-mastery. Self-control and learning to associate with the opposite sex are among the first tests in our ascension career. The demands for self-control in Havona are incomprehensible to us. In similar manner, to reach light and life on a sphere, civilization must choose ever more and finer degrees of self control, to degrees not comprehensible to us. Also note that self control is one of the fruits of the spirit.
  • [35]Only a philosophic mind in a philosophic society could recognize the need for ethics and coin such a word. And you can rely on this: ethics will have a lot to say about the structure of the relationships between men and women.

  • [36]See [89:1] for background on the concept of a taboo.
  • [37]So-called here because we falsely exalt mores to the level of morals all too often, especially in the realm of sex control. The good news, however, is if you supply favorable conditions to be grown, you eventually are shown the way up to realm of genuine morals.

  • [38]Though there are simple marriage customs. This is a case in point of how primitive societies remain when they receive no biologic uplift from the violet race.

  • [39]During the 20th century Western civilization abandoned true philosophy and slid backward into primitive ideas. By the 1960s civilization fell back to pre-primitive concepts like free love. Civilization is a choice each generation must make; without that choice things fall back to the savage state of nature. Ironically, in such a foolishy wished for primitive state there is no free love; fear and hunger consume all waking thoughts leaving little room for self-indulgent sexual thoughts.
  • [40]Using spiritual consciousness and a misplaced sense of purity—or perhaps out of willful ignorance—advocates of free love would discard even the most primitive of marriage customs and sex regulation. Therefore, without mincing words our author free love is pre-primitive (rank savagery). If you are an acolyte of free love, pause carefully here and consider you've just been labeled a "rank savage."

  • [41]Three traits of the security age of the seven developmental epochs of progressive civilization. Without sex regulation, society would be hopelessly distracted by sex and could never get itself together enough to protect itself from marauding hordes.
  • [42]This same list, in the same order, is seen again in [89:4.2]. It seems thoughts about sex led to the evolution of the concept of sin. A crime that is associated with habitual transgression of a taboo is called a vice.

  • [43]But not for the reason one might think (burdens of pregnancy) as will be seen later.
  • [44]Can materially oriented men and women hold onto the ideals of marriage without a physical outer-life symbol, some constant reminder, of the marriage? It's an important question to ponder as some cultures increasingly move away from any and all "marks" of this kind.
  • [45]The serious student should be able to recognize vestiges of items listed here from their own life experiences, perhaps down to that ring on their finger.
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